Running Commentary from Last Night's Game

Given the quality of the broadcasting team (or lack thereof) that Fox threw against the game, Jim and I decided to do a little color commentary of our own. These comments have been edited slightly to protect the innocent. Enjoy:


[20:34] Aaron: wait -- one of the announcers just said something funny!
[20:34] Lil' Jim: can someone please kill the guy banging that drum
[20:34] Aaron: paul byrd said "this may be the slowest throwing combo of starters of any game this year"
[20:34] Lil' Jim: ...and his geriatric father sitting next to him
[20:35] Aaron: Tim McCarver is going to tell us EVERYTHING there is to know about batting against a knuckleballer
[20:36] Aaron: but of course none of it will actually be true
[20:36] Lil' Jim: can we ask him to tell us how to hit someone who uses an old school wind-up
[20:36] Aaron: phew
[20:36] Lil' Jim: amen
[20:36] Aaron: I think you're about to find that out
[20:36] Aaron: in spades
[20:36] Lil' Jim: can you give me a moment before you announce what happens
[20:36] Lil' Jim: i'm on HD and about 5 seconds behind you
[20:37] Aaron: aha
[20:37] Aaron: sure thing ;)
[20:37] Lil' Jim: the fact that the guy in this Taco Bell commercial goes 1 - 2 - C has annoyed me since I first say it
[20:38] Lil' Jim: can they f-ing edit it a little better
[20:38] Aaron: sorry -- I'm already back to the game -- Lowell just hit a five run homer
[20:38] Aaron: oh, sox just won
[20:38] Aaron: sorry man, I forgot you were on delay
[20:38] Lil' Jim: lol


[20:41] Lil' Jim: double wind up to manny?
[20:41] Aaron: I wan't manny to hit a 600 foot shot and then just stand there for an hour
[20:41] Aaron: yes! first hit of the game
[20:41] Aaron: go Manny
[20:42] Lil' Jim: huh - i thought big papi was still up
[20:43] Aaron: it's already the fifth inning
[20:43] Aaron: what inning is it on your tv?
[20:43] Lil' Jim: game three - eighth inning
[20:43] Aaron: wow -- you're really behind
[20:44] Aaron: it's game seven on my tv -- sox are up 3 games to 2
[20:45] Aaron: Go JD!!!
[20:46] Lil' Jim: if they have another bases-loaded, no one out situation and don't score... i'm going to do a shot of barenjaegar
[20:46] Aaron: nope -- Coco will save us from that anguish
[20:47] Aaron: why do I smell a 1-0 combined 2 hitter going into the 9th inning in this one with the bad guys on top
[20:47] Lil' Jim: nope
[20:47] Aaron: it's like the reverse reverse lock
[20:50] Lil' Jim: dancing
[20:50] Aaron: knock on wood but it seems like good wakefield may have shown up for this game
[20:50] Lil' Jim: i'm knocking on my wood
[20:51] Aaron: huh, huh, huh, huh, hem, he, heh... you said "wood"
[20:51] Lil' Jim: yep
[20:52] Lil' Jim: wake will be taking questions between innings
[20:53] Aaron: not the way the sox are going -- 5 pitch innings
[20:53] Aaron: um, guys
[20:53] Aaron: there's no time limit on this game
[20:53] Lil' Jim: right
[20:54] Lil' Jim: feel free to take a pitch or two
[20:54] Lil' Jim: especially when you're behind in the count... "Paul Byrd knows how to throw balls for strikes when he's ahead in the count... it's uncanny!"
[20:55] Lil' Jim: thanks Tim
[20:55] Aaron: give Wake a chance to at least take a piss in between innings
[20:55] Aaron: yes - did you know that he's thrown more first pitch strikes than any other pitcher in MLB?
[20:56] Lil' Jim: double wind up coming
[20:57] Aaron: good thing about this game is that it will be over by 9:15
[20:57] Lil' Jim: i'm surprised this ump didn't call that a strike
[20:57] Aaron: the first 3-2 count of the game
[20:57] Lil' Jim: high and tight
[20:58] Aaron: "Tim, did you know that pitchers HAVE to throw strikes in 3-2 counts?"
[20:58] Aaron: "otherwise, the batter walks"
[21:01] Lil' Jim: chin music
[21:01] Lil' Jim: swear to god... i typed that before tim said it
[21:01] Aaron: guess those terrible towels didn't work so good
[21:03] Aaron: a HR here wouldn't suck
[21:03] Lil' Jim: hey big papi - how about a first pitch hack into the right field seats
[21:03] Lil' Jim: bad knee and all
[21:03] Aaron: yes
[21:06] Aaron: and he... ohhhh
[21:08] Lil' Jim: right to the shortstop... playing the the right of 2nd base
[21:09] Aaron: I'm not sure I get all this hype from the announcers and now the ads about Cleveland winning
[21:09] Aaron: they know that NOBODY will watch the world series if it's Colorado and Cleveland
[21:09] Aaron: well, maybe 50K people in Cleveland
[21:09] Aaron: that's it
[21:10] Lil' Jim: cleveland v colorado draws two markets... count 'em... 1...2....
[21:10] Aaron: I'm thinking just 1
[21:10] Aaron: I don't think the people in Colorado actually know there's a team outside the Broncos
[21:14] Lil' Jim: well
[21:14] Lil' Jim: they're in the f-ing world series
[21:14] Lil' Jim: MLB should pull the franchise
[21:14] Aaron: they'll find that out once the Broncos lose in the playoffs
[21:14] Aaron: the fans will be like, "I wonder how them Rockies did this year"
[21:14] Lil' Jim: mirabelli boxed it to look like a ball
[21:14] Aaron: and someone will say, "they f-ing won the world series you a-hole"
[21:15] Aaron: and they'll say, "but the broncos lost"
[21:15] Lil' Jim: tim just said stiff
[21:15] Aaron: huh, huh, huh, huh, hem, he, heh... you said "stiff"
[21:17] Lil' Jim: way to sacrifice the body Youk!

[21:24] Lil' Jim: not hard to get JD on a swinging strike
[21:24] Aaron: nope
[21:25] Aaron: go JD
[21:25] Aaron: who knew
[21:26] Lil' Jim: JD's gonna take second
[21:26] Aaron: fuck
[21:26] Aaron: how many hard hit fly outs are the Sox gonna hit
[21:26] Lil' Jim: yup
[21:26] Lil' Jim: it's killing us
[21:32] Aaron: that was the first hit by the Tribe tonight
[21:32] Aaron: of course it took McCarver 30 seconds more than me to figure that out
[21:32] Aaron: had to wake him up from his nap
[21:33] Lil' Jim: me too
[21:38] Aaron: you know it's a bad night when Doug Mirabelli is the most disciplined hitter on your team
[21:44] Aaron: okay, who called a 1-0 game going into the 9th?
[21:45] Aaron: blake almost fell over hitting that one
[21:47] Lil' Jim: i have Tom H heckling me
[21:47] Lil' Jim: this is bad
[21:48] Lil' Jim: that shouldn't have been called a hit by pitch
[21:48] Lil' Jim: he f-ing leaned into it
[21:52] Aaron: im sure
[21:56] Lil' Jim: we need our bats to come alive
[21:56] Aaron: ya think?
[21:56] Aaron: I told Melanie during that first game
[21:56] Lil' Jim: we can't go meekly
[21:56] Aaron: that I was nervous that the Sox were blowing their entire wad
[21:56] Aaron: and low and behold...
[21:56] Lil' Jim: wake's pitching a good game so far
[21:56] Aaron: yes
[21:56] Aaron: and if you think about it
[21:57] Lil' Jim: shut up joe
[21:57] Aaron: at least 50% of the time he makes that catch on the comebacker
[21:57] Aaron: and it's double play
[21:57] Lil' Jim: uhuh
[21:57] Lil' Jim: they're not gonna win if they don't f-ing score
[21:58] Aaron: that's a good point "Tim"
[21:58] Lil' Jim: "the interesting thing about this game is you just can't win if you don't score any runs"
[21:59] Aaron: you've gotta be kidding me
[21:59] Aaron: still the 5th
[21:59] Aaron: maybe all this waiting around will get to Byrd
[22:00] Lil' Jim: maybe
[22:00] Aaron: do you think Cleveland would notice if the Sox next pitcher warmed up for 45 minutes
[22:00] Aaron: Wake should have pretended he was hurt
[22:00] Lil' Jim: "paul byrd might need to go to the triple wind up to warm up after the layoff he's had between the the fifth and sixth innings"
[22:03] Aaron: game over
[22:03] Aaron: good night
[22:04] Lil' Jim: "manny delcarmen throws the ball a lot harder than Tim Wakefield... watch for clevland hitters to throw some balls over the right field wall...
[22:04] Lil' Jim: so discouraging
[22:04] Aaron: if's f-ing cleveland for god's sake
[22:05] Aaron: they have one good pitcher
[22:05] Aaron: and a bunch of guys named "ass druple"
[22:05] Lil' Jim: delcarmen's arm is dead
[22:05] Lil' Jim: i wish we had a guy like gagne
[22:05] Aaron: get him the freak out of there
[22:05] Aaron: can we trade gagne to them for a bag of sh!t
[22:06] Lil' Jim: tim, you lost me somewhere at leadoff
[22:07] Aaron: maybe the ump could throw us a bone here and call lofton out?
[22:07] Aaron: somewhere, Selig is calling the ump union saying guys
[22:07] Lil' Jim: he was safe
[22:08] Aaron: f-ing Cleveland and Colorado in the world series?
[22:08] Aaron: i don't think so
[22:08] Aaron: FIX THIS SITUATION NOW!!!
[22:08] Aaron: (I know he was safe)
[22:08] Lil' Jim: we're making cleveland looking like the 49 Yankees
[22:08] Lil' Jim: this is f-ing CLEVELAND
[22:09] Aaron: well, we came back from 3-0 in 2004
[22:09] Aaron: you've got to be sh!tting me
[22:09] Aaron: this is getting ridiculous
[22:09] Lil' Jim: holy sh!t
[22:09] Aaron: get him the hell out of the game NOW!!!
[22:09] Lil' Jim: they have a big f-ing horseshoe up their ass
[22:11] Lil' Jim: time for me to cry
[22:11] Aaron: go pats
[22:11] Lil' Jim: yupper
[22:12] Aaron: "Well Tim, something tells me the Sox shouldn't have scored all those runs on their first night"
[22:12] Aaron: oh good, Lester's loosening
[22:12] Aaron: that's almost as comforting as hearing "Gagne's coming in in a tied game in the 11th"
[22:13] Lil' Jim: how do you think byrd's feeling
[22:13] Aaron: right about now, a little stiff
[22:14] Aaron: if they can get three this inning
[22:14] Lil' Jim: they'll give him a really short leash
[22:14] Aaron: two in the seventh and three in the 8th
[22:14] Aaron: we're all set
[22:15] Aaron: that is of course if the sox can ever get a 3rd f-ing out in this inning
[22:15] Aaron: why is Francona not taking him out of the game?
[22:15] Aaron: he hasn't gotten an out yet
[22:15] Aaron: get him OUT
[22:15] Aaron: it's Kelly Shoppach for god's sake
[22:16] Aaron: I think he's batting .045
[22:16] Aaron: throw three pitches right down the plate
[22:16] Aaron: he's only got a 1-20 shot of hitting it
[22:18] Aaron: here we go Red Sox... here we go... here we go Red Sox... here we go
[22:19] Lil' Jim: this is our countrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry
[22:19] Aaron: has john cougar watermellon cougar melloncamp released a new album in the last twenty years?
[22:19] Lil' Jim: yes
[22:20] Aaron: I think he did one in the eighties and it just keeps getting recycled
[22:20] Lil' Jim: this is ooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur countrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry
[22:20] Aaron: for Ford commercials
[22:21] Lil' Jim: have you played with web apps with the iphone?
[22:21] Aaron: nope
[22:21] Lil' Jim: some cool stuff
[22:22] Aaron: I'm sure
[22:22] Aaron: I'll have to check it out
[22:22] Lil' Jim: http://www.apple.com/webapps/
[22:22] Lil' Jim: i was playing with it this weekend
[22:22] Aaron: there's one back
[22:22] Aaron: 1 down, 6 to go
[22:22] Lil' Jim: ok
[22:22] Aaron: and byrd looks rusty
[22:22] Aaron: all of a sudden
[22:22] Lil' Jim: let's hope it's not too little too late
[22:22] Aaron: yes
[22:22] Aaron: if they can get 3-4 this inning
[22:22] Aaron: I think we can pull it off
[22:24] Lil' Jim: paul byrd is out soon
[22:24] Aaron: two down
[22:24] Aaron: five to go
[22:24] Aaron: here we go red sox, here we go
[22:24] Lil' Jim: bingo
[22:26] Aaron: wait, don't you want to leave Byrd in for a few more batters to see if he turns it around?
[22:26] Aaron: you should really save your bullpen for tomorrow night
[22:29] Aaron: you know, I wonder if any team has ever gone "back to back to back" in the ALCS
[22:30] Lil' Jim: shut up joe
[22:30] Lil' Jim: SHUT UP
[22:30] Lil' Jim: SHHHHHHHHUT UP
[22:31] Aaron: I would honestly chip in $50 to NOT hear these guys announce this series
[22:31] Aaron: I'll bet others would to
[22:31] Aaron: maybe that could be a PR stunt/money maker for Fox
[22:31] Lil' Jim: good at bat by manny
[22:31] Aaron: shall we suggest it?
[22:31] Lil' Jim: looking for a pitch to hit
[22:31] Aaron: he is the king of 0-2 to 3-2 counts
[22:31] Aaron: I'll bet he leads the league in that category
[22:32] Lil' Jim: is that his pocket hanging out? only manny
[22:32] Aaron: of course
[22:32] Aaron: so there goes ALCS history
[22:33] Aaron: let's see, what did I say?
[22:33] Lil' Jim: what was tek doing there
[22:33] Aaron: if the sox get 3 in this inning
[22:33] Aaron: 2 in the 7th
[22:33] Aaron: and three in the 8th?
[22:33] Lil' Jim: BACK TO BACK TO BACK
[22:33] Aaron: kind of wishing that delcarmen hadn't given up that 3 run homer right now
[22:34] Lil' Jim: right
[22:34] Lil' Jim: well... would be a great comeback
[22:34] Lil' Jim: speaking of a back breaker
[22:34] Aaron: yes
[22:35] Aaron: i like their referencing of that four consecutive HR game against the Yanks
[22:35] Aaron: Tim and chums must have just received the call from Selig
[22:36] Aaron: "Gents, if Cleveland wins this series, you're all fired"
[22:36] Aaron: Tim - shut the "f" up
[22:36] Lil' Jim: is it just the sixth?
[22:36] Aaron: Varitek is easily twice as good a defensive player as Mirabelli
[22:36] Aaron: yup
[22:36] Lil' Jim: right
[22:37] Lil' Jim: TIM - SHUT UP
[22:40] Lil' Jim: Lester
[22:40] Lil' Jim: heaven help us
[22:40] Aaron: no kidding
[22:40] Aaron: at least it's a clean inning
[22:41] Aaron: he hasn't thrown four straight balls
[22:41] Aaron: that's the upside
[22:43] Aaron: oops, spoke too soon
[22:43] Aaron: wow -- that last sentence had 7 "o's" in it
[22:50] Aaron: okay
[22:50] Aaron: all we need is two here
[22:54] Aaron: here we go!
[22:55] Lil' Jim: ok
[22:55] Aaron: oh good, I thought you had gone to bed
[22:57] Lil' Jim: nice twin killing
[22:58] Aaron: you've got to be kidding me with that catch
[23:07] Aaron: "kenny, when the ball goes down the middle of the plate and you have two strikes on you, it's a good idea to swing"
[23:07] Lil' Jim: lol
[23:08] Aaron: where was lester in the 5th?
[23:08] Lil' Jim: i have to keep you minimized because you're like 15 secs ahead of me
[23:08] Lil' Jim: this guy iritates me
[23:09] Aaron: which guy? remember, you're two games behind me
[23:09] Lil' Jim: the iphone guy
[23:09] Aaron: oh yeah
[23:10] Lil' Jim: " i needed a bag to carry them all around"
[23:10] Lil' Jim: don't be a f-ing loser
[23:10] Aaron: btw, ortiz and manny just went back to back
[23:10] Lil' Jim: get a phone - use it - if you need a new one - get one
[23:10] Lil' Jim: and you are now... minimized
[23:11] Lil' Jim: now or never man
[23:11] Aaron: yup
[23:14] Aaron: do we get points for pop ups?
[23:16] Lil' Jim: yeah
[23:16] Lil' Jim: selig's keeping track
[23:17] Lil' Jim: each one is a bullet in the umps if the sox lose the series
[23:18] Aaron: yup
[23:18] Aaron: the announcers have already started trying way too hard to tempt fate
[23:19] Aaron: they've mentioned 2004 three times
[23:34] Aaron: of course
[23:34] Aaron: how fitting
[23:34] Aaron: good night and good luck
[23:36] Lil' Jim: gnight