Cocksure

I love this word. It's a childish thing really. Cocksure sounds like it's a dirty word. It's not.

Courtesy of Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: cock·sure
Pronunciation: 'käk-'shur
Function: adjective

1 : feeling perfect assurance sometimes on inadequate grounds
2 : marked by overconfidence or presumptuousness : COCKY

One might think I chose the word cocksure as the title of this post to describe the collective state of mind of Red Sox Nation after a two spectacular come from behind winds against the Jays and Yanks followed by another solid win over the Evil Empire again today. I didn't. The title of the post describes the look on the face of the man in the Yankees on-deck circle in the 9th inning of today's game.

To frame the situation, the Sox are up 7-5 in the 9th. They've squandered numerous opportunities to break the game wide open including a bases loaded situation in the 8th. At no point during the game did I get that "uh oh" feeling. However, this is the New York Yankees and they haven't exactly been putting up goose eggs recently (on the offensive or defensive side of the ball). We get to the ninth and in comes this blog's namesake, Jon Papelbon.

Game, set match, right? Not quite. Papelbon gets a fairly quick out against Johnny Damon. Then walks Melky Cabrera on four straight balls. Next up, Derek Jeter. The Nation's palms begin to sweat a little (not a lot, after all, we have uber-closer, Jon Papelbon, pitching for us). Papelbon makes Jeter look like Dustin Pedroia against Johann Santana on a couple pitches, the last of which sends Jeter to the bench. Now we get the mighty Bobby Abreu. Not a world beater but still dangerous.

So here's where the title of this post comes in. The Fox camera flashes to A-Rod swinging the bat in the on deck circle. He's got a little smirk on his face as if to say, sorry Boston, I'm about to ruin your Saturday night. And you know what, the guy should feel that way. I dislike A-Rod immensely but I will give the him credit. He's been lights out so far this season (of course this will not last when it counts -- mark my words). Except A-Rod never gets a chance to ruin our night. Abreu flies out to deep center. Game over. No more cock-surity from Mr. Rodriguez.

I know it's early. I know the games we care about come in months that start with "O"s, not "A"s. Still, it's sweet being a Boston fan and constantly getting a chance to tweak A-Rod's, and the Yankee's noses. It all stems back to the 2004 ALCS. Ah, the memories.

Two side notes. First, it looks like Varitek has broken out of his funk. Same goes for Coco. This will be huge for the Sox down the stretch. Second, I love Alex Cora. Guys like this make the game worth watching. Can't wait for tomorrow!

Rooster Ramblings

Some thoughts before oiling up for tonight's Sox-Yanks tilt ...

-- OK, so you’re John Gibbons, and you’re managing the Blue Jays in a division where you’re fighting for a seat at the table with the Red Sox and Yankees. You’ve got a chance to win an early series against the Sox at home, you’ve got your ace Roy Halladay on the mound with a two run lead in the eighth – aaaaaand you’re gonna pull him after 95 pitches? Really? You sure you wanna do that, big guy? ... Wow. What a gift. Next time you hear someone complain about Terry Francona, the Rooster hopes you point to that game to feel a little better ... A side note: Gibbons is the only manager in the majors who hasn’t played professional baseball. When Gibbons gets fired this year, someone needs to find JP Ricciardi’s email address. The Rooster wants to apply for the job.

-- So, I’m at Game On last Friday night enjoying a few libations with the fellas after one of the buttwhippings the Sox laid on the Angels. A couple of feet away there’s a steady steam of admiring gents making their way to a certain female who has her back turned to us. So, of course, we get a glance, and who is it holding court? Smiling Tina Cervasio – you know, the woman who has seemingly lost some buttons on all of her blouses this year ... Anyway, I’ve seen athletes out on the town with admirers lined up, and Tina certainly represented. Guys were popping by left and right -– she was the Belle of the Ball(game) and loving it ... So, I finally say to our boy C, “I’ll buy you a beer if you go up and say, ‘I’m a huuuge fan of your work, Hazel Mae.’ Sho nuff, not only does he charge up and do it, he asks her to sign her autograph on a cocktail napkin. The Hazel Mae comment? Didn’t even register with her (maybe doing Terry’s Take taught her to just smile through mindless banter), and she gladly signed the napkin. The Rooster, of course, bought another round of Stellas, and we toasted the Belle. Cheers, Tina.

-- Larry Bird, where have you gone? Sometimes you just can’t shake the feeling that if Bird had his choice, he’d be wearing a Pacers uni rather than a Celtics one in the Hall of Fame. I know, I know – that’s over-the-top. But one of the (many) disappointing things about the Celtics franchise is the lack of association that Bird has had with the team over the years. When I see Magic Johnson on TNT – and see him constantly talking about Laker pride – it makes me envious. For an entire new generation of fans, Magic Johnson still – and always will – equal the Lakers. Sadly, Larry no longer equals the Celtics.

-- The flip side to Bird is Cam Neely. No. 8 has stayed in the fold, only to watch the franchise sink to competing with the Big Apple Circus for customers. Enough. If Bourque or Neely – or both – were running the show, the Bruins would still matter in the hearts of people in the region. This is the no-brainer of the Boston sports scene. Right now, Bruins games at the Gahden are just an excuse to get the kids out of the house.

-- A-Rod and the Bombers are in for three. The Yanks can’t keep winning with that pitching staff, can they? I mean, gulp, it’s not possible right?

He Should be 3-0

Well the Red Sox are quietly off to a pretty good start, with the starting pitching really stepping up. The offense on the other hand...pretty hot and cold. Varitek and Crisp continue to cause concern. The end of the line-up just feeling pretty weak at this point.

Which brings to light the steaming hot shit sandwiches that Matsuzaka got served, with one run of "run suport" over the past 18 innings in the last two games he's pitched.

I had the displeasure to watch the Felix Hernandez one hitter from Fenway for Dice-K's first home start. Both of the last two games he's pitched, if the Red Sox had just hit normally would have been wins, and he'd be 3-0 right now.

On a slightly different topic. The namesake of this blog has been amazing. He just gave up his first hit last night. Having called for it over the winter, I'm of course thrilled that they moved Big Papelbon back to the closer role. That first save after the Schilling start in Texas was a true save where it looked like the game was about to go down the toilet and a great start was going to be wasted. I think we'll end up with a lot more wins overall with Pap as the anchor man.

Really excited for the first Yankees series this weekend. We'll see how our hot pitching fares against their hot bats. I hear pitching is very important, but that you can't score runs without good hitting...who knew?

Cheers,
-JS

Sunny San Francisco

Man is it beautiful out here in San Francisco. 65 degrees and sunny. Even better is the lack of rain!

I've been blogging my head off for my company at the Web 2.0 Expo so I don't have a whole lotta words left for Big P. right now. However, I couldn't resist mentioning two things:

- Was that an ass kicking the Sox put on the "Angels of California, in Anaheim, near Los Angeles but not that Close to San Diego" or what? I mean 25-3 over three games? Wow. I remember looking at the match up between the Sox and Angels a week ago when LA was 6-1 thinking, "this could be a close one". Not even close.

- Poor San Francisco Giants fans. I was walking by a sign the other day that was touting the '07 Giants. Want to know who the two poster boys were? If you guessed Barry Zito and Dave Roberts then you are correct. Yes, that's the same Barry "I'd be a 2-3 starter in anyone else but Pittsburgh, KC or Tampa Bay's rotation" Zito and Dave "I was a fourth outfielder for the Red Sox" Roberts. That's no disrespect for Roberts because he will always have a special place in my heart after stealing a certain base in a certain series against a certain rival. But a poster boy for your franchise? Yikes!

It's bad enough that SF fans have to look at Barry Bonds super sized head all the time. Now they have to hang their hopes on an overpaid, Jeckyll and Hide, curveball pitcher that may get 14 wins this year and a guy that is really a 4th outfielder for any decent team.

On that note, I can't wait for the Yanks/Sox series next weekend. Is it bad that I'm hoping for a 97 MPH fastball right up in A-Rod's grill? I didn't think so...

Drew Bledsoe's retirement

It was no real surprise last week to hear that Drew Bledsoe retired from the NFL after a long, pretty damn good career. He was done, he knew it, and just couldnt bring himself to play in a backup role somewhere, just as he left the Pats with the rise of Tom Brady. That being said, as a Dolphin fan who saw or heard him play against us twice a year for 12 years (9 with Pats, 3 with the Bills), I can offer nothing but solid respect for Bledsoe and his place in NFL lore. I dont know his record against the Fins, but I can remember that he would "bring it" anytime he played the Dolphins or anyone else, broken fingers and all. He was one of the first big name players in the Kraft era, the face of the franchise, helping guide the Pats to their second Superbowl, and helping to build a foundation that would later become a dynasty . Its possible that they couldnt have done it without him; remember in Pittsburgh when he came off the bench during the AFC championship to help lead the Pats to the SB ? This is the game and moment that I most remember Drew for. Lets hear it from ya'll and post up with some great DB moments, and does he belong in the Hall of Fame someday?

Its always football season at my house,
RedFish

Rooster Ramblings

Some random Sox thoughts from The Rooster:

-- Did the Red Sox REALLY need to let J.D. Drew wear No. 7 right after Trot leaves town? Granted, Trot never lived up to the huge expectations when he was first signed, but he was a Dirtdog for a decade. Meanwhile, Nomar’s number 5 continues to stay out of circulation. Maybe that’s fitting tho -- Trot’s uni continues to get dirty after he’s gone, and Nomar’s continues to stay clean.

-- Jerry Trupiano, wow, we miss ya big guy. I caught a few innings of the opener on RKO. Glenn Geffner was announcing an octave higher than Sanjaya.

-- There’s been a lot of nervous chatter on the local talk show airwaves about the potential trainwreck at the tail end of the Sox lineup. One thing I like down there: Pedroia doesn’t get cheated on his hacks. Varitek, on the other hand, looks Gedman-esque.

-- Raise your hand if you’d rather see Jacoby Ellsbury as the starting centerfielder right now.

-- Yes, we’re only a week into the season, but it already seems that the Yankees hopes of winning the AL East may hinge on two pitchers who aren’t even on their team now – Philip Hughes and the Rocket. If the Red Sox sales pitch works for Roger, it would be crippling for New York. Then again, at the rate the Yankees are pitching, Roger could name whatever price he wants and George would have to pay it.

-- Barry Bonds doesn’t look nearly as crippled at the plate as some writers led us to believe this offseason. The Giants come to Fenway at the Game 67 mark. If he gets some protection in that lineup, is it so unthinkable to believe he could be near the 18-20 home run mark? That would put him on the verge of Hank’s record at the Fens.

-- Do you get the feeling that this is the last week of the season where the Sox are remotely close to .500? Four terrifically pitched games out of the first six. Josh Beckett may have been the best sign of all. We all hoped for– and, in part, expected – Dice K magic. But the bar has been lowered for Beckett after last year’s 5.00 ERA. But if homeboy returns to the form that turbocharged the Marlins, this team could end up running away with the division.

Money

Three thoughts to start off your week:

1. John Papelbon is MONEY! Anyone who saw Big P. mow down the heart of the Rangers order last night (2 huge outs in the 8th and 1-2-3 in the 9th) can't help but salivate at the thought of what is to come.
2. Nice to see Ortiz get back on track. He's historically a slow starter so I don't think anyone was worried. Still good to see him break out with 2 HRs and a scorcher to Teixeira that should have been a hit.
3. If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend the movie The Year of the Yao. It's a documentary on Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets' first year in the NBA.
   

Home Opener is tomorrow. Can't wait!

10 Ks for Dice K*

Phew. Can you feel the collective sigh of relief from Red Sox nation today? Imagine if Dice K had gone out and laid an egg similar to that of Monsieur Schilling on Monday? Instead, we got the masterful performance that we expected from the phenom from Nippon! I know his first inning was a little rocky but hell, it was 30 degrees in KC yesterday. Have you ever tried to play catch in 30 degree weather never mind pitching 7 innings against a major league team?

Meanwhile, our friends the Yankees are saying, "thank God we went out and got Andy "four innings" Pettite instead of really joining the bidding war for Dice K. And thank goodness we got rid of that Randy Johnson guy and his 17 wins." Granted, RJ did struggle mightily at times last season and his ERA was 5.00. But seriously, the Yanks can't feel good right now.

Back to Dice K. 10 strike outs in his first game. Nothing sucks about that. And you know what, to all those skeptics that throw out the "but it was against the KC Royals, those guys are a AAA team at best" -- those same Royals were ranked 11th in the league with a .271 team batting average last year. Those guys don't lose games because they can't hit -- it's their pitching that sucks.

I don't know about you but I can't wait until next Wednesday to see the Dice Man pitch again in Beantown. Badda boom!

*I have to give credit to NPR for the title of this post.

That's What I'm Talkin' About

Random Musings on Poisson d'Avril

Four interesting tidbits from the sports page of this morning's Boston Globe:

1. I'm feeling better about Coco Crisp who went 8-20 (.400) in the seven games after returning from an injured shoulder. Let's hope that's a sign of things to come.
2. Bill James 2007 baseball handbook projection of 33 combined wins for Schilling, Beckett and Wakefield makes me a little skeptical of his methodology. I predicted the three to win 45 games in a previous post. My guess is that the answer lies somewhere in between.
3. Would you be concerned if you were a Indianapolis Colts fan and your team just lost five important contributors: running back Dominic Rhodes (Raiders), linebacker Cato June (Buccaneers), cornerback Nick Harper (Titans), defensive lineman Montae Reagor (Eagles), and receiver Brandon Stokley (Broncos) and your team -- drafting last in every round btw -- was looking to fill holes through the draft? Makes be glad to be a Patriots fan.
4. Why does the Globe continue to put NHL/Bruins highlights first in the paper when hockey is easily the fourth most popular (and arguably maybe fifth after BC football/basketball) up front in the Sunday sports section? I'm guessing it's because they want you to flip through to the good stuff i.e. baseball, basketball and football. A happy medium may be to lead with baseball or football and sandwich hockey in the middle. Do I have too much time on my hands to worry about such things? Probably.
   

A quick note on the title of this post.... For those of you lucky enough to have avoided taking French in high school, "Poisson d'Avril" is the French equivalent of "April Fool's Day." Translated, it means "fish of April." Look at the Wikipedia entry if you're interested in the back story. Happy April Fools!

Pathetic

Sorry to break from our menu of sports talk but this morning I opened up my Yahoo! Music Jukebox and nearly threw up in my own mouth. As soon as my nausea passed, I realized that I HAD to do a post about this on Big P.

To give you a little background, I was a HUGE Black Sabbath fan growing up. I never actually got to see Sabbath in concert but did see Ozzy Osborne several times and also took in a few Deep Purple and Rainbow concerts. For any of you too young to remember (or too smart too care), after Ozzy's departure from the band in the late 70's, Ronnie James Dio took the helm for a few semi-successful albums -- most notably Heaven and Hell. After Dio's departure, Deep Purple singer, Ian Gillin took over. Both were pretty good but it IMHO, they were much better with their former bands, Dio and Deep Purple.

The funny thing was that back in the late 70's and early 80's, I loved horrifying my parents by listening to Sabbath's "devil music". I knew Ozzy was a little bit of an overweight, over-the-hill turd but didn't care. I also managed to overlook the permed hair and fringed leather of Iomi, bassist, Geezer Butler and drummer, Bill Ward. In the 90's, I started to realize how un-hip these pseudo-devil worshipping dildos were. However, nothing topped what I saw this morning...

I mean, WTF? Does Dio (third from left) not realize that he looks like my 87 year old grand father with a brown wig on? I mean seriously. And now these guys are touring? It's just sad.

I know that this new trend of bands from the 60's - 80's that pissed all their money away in drugs and mismanagement getting together for reunion tours is getting a little ridiculous but this is too much. Poor Black Sabbath. May the memory of when they were cool rest in peace.

Ugueth Urbina Sentenced to 14 Years

Former Major League Baseball pitcher Ugueth Urbina was sentenced to 14 years in prison for the attempted murder of five workers on his family's ranch, the Attorney General's Office announced Wednesday. The 33-year-old free agent was accused of joining a group of men in attacking and injuring workers with machetes and pouring gasoline on them at his family's ranch, located about 25 miles south of Caracas.

We always knew he was a little crazy when he was with the Red Sox. He had all the qualities that make closers great:

1. A slightly disturbing nervous tick
2. A good fastball with questionable control, and
3. A great nickname that fans can chant at the top of their lungs

If we'd only known he was skilled with a machete and gasoline we might have really had a Hall of Fame closer on our hands.

Good luck in jail Uggie.

Reason for Concern?

I'm feeling pretty good about the Sox this season. Based on what I've read and seen, that seems to be the general consensus of the national media. However, after reading Shaughnessy's article in this morning's Boston Globe, I am minorly concerned about the following three things:

1. Varitek - will he hit this season or is he Benito Santiago 2.0?
2. Coco Crisp - is he the center field equivalent of Kerry Woods/Carl Pavano?
3. I thought we could survive Dustin Pedroia this season if everything else clicked. If Varitek and Crisp hit below the Mendoza Line, slots 7-9 in the line-up will be mighty painful to endure.

Now I don't normally put too much thought into what Shaughnessy writes but he brings up some valid points. I'd love to get the groups thoughts on this one.

Last Night of the Patriots Dynasty?

I'm going to break ranks from the baseball talk for a second because I need help with some football questions. Namely, why is everybody bending over backwards to hail the Patriots for these free agent signings -- particularly the receivers? What in the name of Daniel Snyder is going on here?

Let's recap for a second WHY the Patriots needed to sign free agent wide receivers:

1) They've received little to no return on the first round draft pick they spent a year ago on Chad Jackson
2) The highly touted tight end position -- and the assumed ascension of Ben Watson -- hasn't really played out
3) Their best receiver is suiting up for the Seahawks, their most consistent playoff receiver is in Tennessee and the replacements for those two may have cost the team home field in the AFC title game last year

The bottom line is: the Patriots' mismanagement of the receiver position may have ultimately cost them the Super Bowl last year. In response, they've gone out and obtained Wes Welker, Donta Stallworth and Kelley Washington. While Welker has been productive, Stallworth is in the drug program and Washington hasn't even had 400 yards receiving in a season (shades of the David Terrell signing last year). Why do I get the feeling that these guys are on the Patriots roster because they were all that was out there on the market? It seems to me that the Patriots have been backed into a corner at this position to the point where they have had to scrap some of the criteria they use for evaluating players before signing them. This is a new direction for their front office -- and one that certainly hasn't worked well for others such as the Redskins.

Baseball 2.0

Curt Schilling gets it... not at the level of NASCAR, but he's onto something. If you haven't seen it yet, check out his new blog. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Check out this quote from today's post:

"Kevin Millar, even when he guesses right, can’t make himself swing at my curve ball... [snip]... With one out in the second Gibbons chased a good split, and then Millar comes up. For 3 years he’s talked trash, in person, through text messages, over the phone, about how I better never throw him my curve ball. Last year in Baltimore I started him off with it, he took it for a strike.

Today I shake ‘Tek 3-4 times, Millar calls time out, steps out and says to ‘Tek “What the hells he want an 0-0 curve ball?”, curve ball strike one. Curve ball again, yanked foul, now he’s laughing, and I am trying not to. Curve ball again he lays off. Count gets to 2-2 and he freezes on a 2 seamer inside for strike three. I don’t know if he’s debating the call or just talking, one never knows with him, but he never looks my way as I go into the dugout."

Occasionally, I'll meet someone who doesn't understand that NASCAR is possibly the only professional "sport" (let's just accept that driving around in circle at ~200 mph for a looooooong time is a sport) that truly caters to its fans. It's usually a painful conversation that has the other side leaving, resigned that I'm a redneck heathen.

Stats don't make a sport, so don't even start with fantasy football and rotisserie baseball being fan-centric. NASCAR lets fans in on the action, using in-car cameras and radios that peek in on pit crew negotiations. I don't even follow NASCAR and I know this much... speak to someone who really loves NASCAR and you'll be blown away by how they're constantly finding new ways to bring fans closer to the sport.

Back to today's post from Curt. This is the first time I've ever really felt part of one of the "major" sports. Sure being there for Game 2 of the World Series in 2004 was pretty kick ass, but this is a new paradigm. This is truly inviting fans into the game. Think about almost every time you go to Fenway... nice day, cold beers, interesting game, some truly great moments, but do you ever really feel like you're in the game? What would you pay to actually be in the meeting on the mound in the top of the ninth with the bases loaded, two outs and Big P getting ready to face ARod in late September? How about free? Would it be worth it?

Thanks Curt!

ps... Millar just joined the conversation. I love Baseball 2.0!

Hard Time Getting in the Mood

I live just outside Boston, MA and we just got pounded with a late season Nor'Easter. It's 12:30 AM and I am soaking wet after shoveling out from over a foot of snow and sleet. This comes on the heels of visiting sunny Las Vegas for our company's Community 2.0 Conference.

It was warm in Vegas. 80 degrees in fact. I was out by the pool on the last day of the conference thinking about spring in New England. I should be -- it's only a few days away. Visions of opening day danced in my head. Thoughts of Dice-K Matsusaka, the Sox prized new pitcher, throwing out the first pitch at Fenway made me long to be home. And then the snow fell.

Why am I surprised? This happens every year. It wouldn't be New England if it didn't. While the Red Sox wrap up in the confines of sunny Florida, I'll be slogging through slush and muck for the next few weeks. My new friend, Mukund Mohan, whom I met at the conference invited me out to CA to do a webcast today. I know he was joking but I might just take him up on his offer!

I like baseball.

My 2 Cents

My predictions for the rotation:

Schilling: 14-10
Beckett: 13-11
Dice-K: 18-8
Papelbon: 13-7
Wakefield: 12-12
Lester: 9-6
The Rest: 15-14

.. and to Adawg's point about offense, I can't disagree in the least... Thoughts welcome.

2 More Days...

Two more days until pitchers and catchers report. Can't wait for baseball.

A few predictions for the Sox starters:

• Curt Schilling: 16-9
• Josh Beckett: 17-7
• Daisuke Matsuzaka: 14-12
• Jon Papelbon: 14-10
• Tim Wakefield: 12-14
• Jon Lester: 8-4
• The rest: 15-10

I'm also going to project the Sox lineup to be in the top 5 in the AL in runs scored, slugging %, OBP, and OPS.

Thoughts?

Mr. Ineptitude

Following is a response by my cousin, Chris, to a John Clayton article I e-mailed to a bunch of my home brothers. The article was a post Pats-Bolts wrap up summing up why the Bolts (and Schottenheimer) lost... again. I couldn't resist posting this on the BP blog.

I loves me some John Clayton! There probably couldn't be a more nerdy (looking) guy in sports writing/coverage, but that cat knows his ball.

When you are a habitual offender at losing playoff games, would you expect anything else? A team that has Tomlinson pissed at the end of the game because of 'disrespect in my house.', yet Florence gets up for an imediate head butt on a simple takle play?!? C'mon.

You had yet another MVP team that has been surrounded by sycophants in both fans and sports writers alike, coming up against a hard nosed (only one pro bowl member) smashmouth football team, that also happens to be 13-2 in playoffs as the underdog yet again... what in heck did you expect? Watch the Chargers and their arrogance on almost every play. Watch the entitlement mentality of that team versus the (even though an exceedingly poor performance) unshaken, unwavering simplicity of 'BelichickBradyball'
one more time.

The best line is - after nothing was clicking on offense - "Every time I would come to the sidelines, I'd say, 'Let's try something else'." Simple, calm, cool and collected. You could watch Marty with every single missed 4th down try, and every Patriot gain saying to himself 'not again'. You aren't going to win the game on one play - you aren't going to win the game with one big LT run. You will win the game when you keep one play ahead of the other guys.

Something I found interesting that was talked about early, but missed later in the game was the fact that Marty didn't wear a headset because he was so confident in both his offensive and defensive coordinator. Funny how that headset slipped back on late in the second quarter. Funny how San Diego started to really scramble after that point. If I were the defensive and offensive coordinator and I was Mr. Playoff hex looking for his headset - I would have grabbed it out of his hands and stepped on it before he could put it on his fat head.

I was amazed at the lack of poise from the team with only two losses this season. Dodgy fourth and eleven call?!? Challenge an extremely obvious strip/fumble?!? Very odd play calling from a guy that had been there before. Granted, Marty has a rather inauspicious playoff record - but he's been there so many times you'd think he'd have his head screwed on tighter.

Unreal.

One playoff choke machine down, one more to go.

Although, to Clayton's point... Indi has shown a lot of the Pats resilience as of late. That is never a good thing. Manning doesn't get as shaken as he used to be, and he has become a bit of a grinder.

Thanks for the article, btw. It was a fun game to watch too.

I agree Chris, it was a fun game. I'm looking forward to an even better game this Sunday! I wonder if Peyton is going to enjoy any sleepless nights...