Top 10 'punishments' for those who left the game early last night:
10. A stalled battery in the parking lot, at least until the game was over.
9. The kids cry all the way home after pooping in the car.
8. The babysitter, watching the entire game, gets so excited that she breaks a vase.
7. Bad gas all night from too many Fenway Franks in only 7 innings.
6. When ordering tickets for next year, their computer will crash over and over and over again.
5. Shoes are ruined from stepping in puke while taking that last piss on the way out.
4. TV reception will be mysteriously fuzzy during all future Sox games from 7 inning and on in the 'leavers' homes.
2. Traffic and tolls so bad they couldve stayed for the rest of game and still got home in the same amount of time.
1. Knowing for a lifetime that they missed out on one of the great, all-time, Sox victories. And when they try to say that they were there and saw it all, a rash shaped like the Yankees insignia will appear on their forehead for all to see.
2014 Red Sox community projections: Mike Napoli
16 hours ago