Saturday, August 05, 2006


There’s a funny line that belated comic, Mitch Hedberg, used in his somewhat schitzofrenic monologues. He would deadpan, “yesterday I played tennis against a wall… that thing was fuckin’ relentless.” While I apologize for the colorful language, the reason that line comes to mind is that it reminds me of David Ortiz. After he hit his second HR last night to break a 2-2 tie (ultimately the game winner) the DRays, I turned to my dad and said, “that guy is freakin’ relentless.”

To bring my point home, if you're a pitcher and there is one guy in the American League you absolutely do NOT want to face with the game on the line, I’ll bet that 140 guys out of 140 guys (Sox pitchers included) would tell you that Ortiz is THAT guy. How could you not. The guy hits a home run every 10 at bats. The only guy who’s potentially more dangerous is Albert Pujols. Thank goodness the Cardinals locked him up for eternity, otherwise, you-know-who (rhymes with “fine tenor” would be paying him $60 million a year.

The thing that is crazy is that the Sox got Ortiz for nothing. You think the Twinkies wouldn’t trade their owner’s first-born child to get him back? In my mind, acquiring Big Papi wiped away any of the bad Karma that was left over from losing the Babe, trading Bagwell for Larry Anderson, and even losing Pedro and Johnny. After all, they did win the World Series two years after acquiring Ortiz, right?

One last note before I sign off. I'm happy that the Yankees are winning right now. That's right, you heard me correctly. And no, I haven't lost my mind and switched over to the dark side. The reason I'm happy is that now is the time I want the Yankees to be winning. Let them get all pumped up. Let their fans get their swagger back. You know why -- because the Yankees are going down this year. When I say that, I mean they are NOT going to make the playoffs. Yes, that's a bold claim but I'll bet anyone $25 bucks that will happen. Sox win it all in the AL East by 3 games and the White Sox win the Wild Card.

Happy Saturday!

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